You have to know, not think, know…

I have a lot of dreams. Big dreams, small dreams, lots of dreams.

• I want to build a house with my own hands.
  
• I want to live on a sail boat and travel the world.
  
• I want to be a dad.
  
• I want to be totally buff, or at least in shape.
  
• I want to go camping.
  
• I want to go on a leisurely road trip around the country hitting all three coasts (before gas is more expensive).
  
• I want to live in a foreign country.
  
• I want to be self employed again.
  
• I want to go back to school and learn about architecture.
  
• I want to learn a new language (maybe Russian, it has a cool alphabet).
  
• I want to grow a beard
  

There are more, I promise. These are just the ones that I thought of the first couple of minutes. If you have known me for any length of time, you have surely heard some of my "crazy" ideas. I am not sure that they are crazy, but they are many times out of the ordinary.

I will not be able to do all of these things and I am not ok with that.

First off, several of the things that I want to do conflict with one another, maybe not the ones in the list, but keep in mind that I am living some of my dreams right now. For example, lately, I have been living my dream of being a vegetable and that has conflicted with my being in shape dream. I am also living a dream of living in Texas, and since it is summer; I would be a little foolish to go camping. J In addition, I cannot be living in a foreign country because I live in Texas.

Every day, each one of us makes decisions that affect our lives and how they end up. Few of us have a long term goal in life except to pay the bills, watch TV and not die and that is what most Americans do. Another thing is that most Americans have a list like the one above that include a lot of "haves" but not many "dos" or "bes", unless the be is "rich" so that they can get their "haves". Eh, that is a rant for another day.

Anyway, I have realized that I will likely not see all of my dreams come to life. I have also come to realize something very important, and that is that I NEED to be ok with it. If I do not become ok with it, I will likely miss my life as it is today. I am not saying that I need to stop planning or striving towards things, but what I am saying is that I should not get upset or obsess about these types of things because that distraction will make me not enjoy today.

I suppose that it is similar to someone that lives in the past. You know, the kind of people that always say: "what if this" or "what if that". Other people that complain about how things are today and how they were so great back in the day. These people miss the present or at least do not fully enjoy it.

I have realized one thing that is for sure. Some day, I will die.

While I am alive, I want to live my life. I do not want to dream about living it. I do not want to regret decisions that I have made. I especially do not want to wake up later in life winder what in the world I have done with my life. I cannot imagine a life with a string of accomplishments such as "watched all 6 seasons of the series 24" or "correctly chose the American Idol after just three episodes". Even worse, I do not want them to be similar to "avoided diabetes despite being obese" or "survived 2 heart attacks and still eating bacon". (I love bacon!)

American life has many milestones in it by default: becoming a teenager, turning 16, graduating high school, turning 21, graduating college, getting married, buy a house, have kids, retire, move to Florida, die. It seems to me that it would make sense to live life in seasons. For example, if I understand that how and where I am living, what I am doing and all of that is just for a set period of time, then it will be different. Maybe then I can live life differently. For example, I have spent the last 10 years working for The Man and only 1 of those has been self employed. Maybe the next 4 years could be spent being self employed in Mexico. After four years, I could start another season in life. Maybe work for The Man again, but in Ireland, or the UK for 5 years. Why not?

Who knows though, I am sure that I will not see these things happen, but I am ok with that. I have a happy life. I just have to enjoy it for what it is and not get caught up in what it is not.