Elf

This is funny. An elf dance starring some of the kids from my youth group. huh huh huh...

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Gah! YouTube

ok, so with the ongoing of Scott's Ghetto Best of YouTube 2008 going on, I have seen a LOT of funny ones.  While there have been many that made me smile, this one had me laughing so hard that people came over to my cube to see what was so funny...  Still not sure that it belongs in the Scott's Ghetto Best of YouTube 2008 though.  To really get in there it has to be a video that sticks with you througout the year.  Know what I mean?  I mean, I can just say "BLHUD!" and you'd be all like "Ha ha ha!" at least in your head.  If not, you would at least know what I was talking about.....

Anyway, here is the video I was talking about.

YouTube

So, this is Scott's ghetto best of youtube 2008.  Here are a couple of obvious ones.  Any others that you guys think should be added?

Blood!

Kick his...

Charlie

He was Injured

Scary Maze

ok, so those are the ones that I thought of within like 10 seconds.  So what YouTube videos have affected your life this year?

I got the box!

Due to my awesomeness, I currently hold the tickets to the entire corporate terrace luxury box for my company at the AT&T center to see the Rampage play the Chicago Wolves on Friday, December 19 2008.

Ten lucky people in addition to me and my wife will be rockin' it in luxury all evening. In addition, I also have three VIP parking passes.

I will now begin accepting bribes.

Seriously, I will consider all offers. If you want to go, just email me.

My Adventures in Self Surgery - Wrap-up

Before I begin, I must have a couple of warnings.

WARNING #1: THIS IS GROSS AND GRAPHIC. IT CONTAINS TEXT AND IMAGES SUITABLE FOR ADULTS ONLY. (Maybe PG-13, but just to keep it safe…)

WARNING #2: DO NOT TRY THIS ON YOUR OWN! IT IS DANGEROUS AND YOU COULD HURT YOURSELF OR WORSE (like die? Maybe, I don't know but don't say I did not warn you!)

So, I have not posted much about my adventure in self surgery for a while. For those of you that are just joining us, here is a summary. (Feel free to browse old posts for the full story). Basically, I have a mole on my shoulder. A doctor had suggested that I tie a string around it to cut off the circulation and then it would fall off. I did this, but after some initial swelling and 2 additional strings, nothing happened. Bad thing was, that I now had 2 strings stuck around the mole on my shoulder. That is the basic premise of what is going on.

So, now the new news. Saturday night, I was sitting around watching gossip girl and I thought that I would try to clip off the strings with a pair of cuticle scissors. As fate would have it, they did not work. I tried, but it seems that they were just too dull or that they were loose and would not get the string no matter how much I tried. I thought to myself "Well, how about a razor? I think that I have some for my folding razor knife in the kitchen…" (similar to a box cutter).

Sure enough, after checking, I DID have some blades. I went back to my recliner and tried to fandangle myself into position to slice the strings without slitting my throat. As it ends up, that is not an easy thing to do. "Well, I am here, I might as well go there" I thought to myself, and then I proceeded to slice at the base of the mole. Now, normally, this would be a quick, one stroke slice and then BAM, mole off. Because of the contortions I had to make in order to gain access to my mole, I had to use more of a slow sawing motion. It was pretty simple, but the blood did come. Luckily, I did have the foresight to grab a paper towel. The blood was more than I expected, but by far not too much. It was probably more of a pain in the butt than anything since it was slippery, and it was warm, which just served as a reality check that I was really cutting myself!

After the first initial cuts, Kasey, who had been sitting next to me in her own chair, but was completely oblivious to what I was doing, got up and went to the kitchen for a drink. She then noticed that I was bleeding and asked what I was doing, though I am sure that she knew full well what was going on. I told her that I was cutting it off and she offered to take pictures.

This gives a good idea as to what was really happening and how I had to contort. I did not have a mirror either.

This one is a close up that shows the mole and a little blood.

After taking the pictures, I explained that it would be so much more helpful if she could just cut it for me since she can get to it more easily. She quickly refused but stood there and watched. After about 2 or 3 more minutes of trying, I decided that it would be better to do this in the bathroom with a mirror. I also started to wish that I had rubbed the area with alcohol first. L

Kasey insisted that I take more paper towels with me. I tried to explain that I had plenty of white space on the one that I had and that it would not be necessary. She would have none of it though, and I walked to the bathroom with not one, but two paper towels in hand. Kasey, however, did not join me for the final moments.

So, in the bathroom, I could see the mole, but as soon as I started to cut, my hands were in the way, so I was still pretty much doing it blind. The good thing though, was that after just a couple of slices, it fell right off. SUCCESS!

The mole in my fingers

The mole in my hand

The mole on the paper towel

The spot on my shoulder where the mole was.

So, now I had cut about a pea sized piece of flesh from my body. Pressure to the spot for about 5 minutes stopped the bleeding and a band-aid over the spot seemed like a good idea.

I started to wonder though "What do I do with it now? I mean, this is a part of ME. Should I just throw it away? Should I burry it in the yard, maybe have a little funeral? Maybe I should eat it…"

Ok, stop right there.

Now, I know that this sounds pretty bad, but I will sometimes eat the skin next to my fingernails. Don't get me wrong, I am not talking about "Oooooh, some flesh to eat!". No no, it is more like I am biting my nails and there is a bit of skin hanging off, so I will bite it off. Sometimes, I don't get a chance to spit it out. Eeew, gross, I know but it's not like I am a cannibal or something. (or is it?).

In the end, I decided on none of those. Instead, I decided to cut it open to see what it looked like inside. I placed it on the napkin and sliced it open, which was NOT easy. It did not want to cut, but I did get it. I have to say that I was disappointed. It just looked the same all the way through. Just like plain old skin. BORING!

After that, I threw it in the trash along with the bloody napkin and the razor.

Over all, I will call it a success. After doing it, I wish that I would have done it a long time ago. Truthfully I was more worried about it bleeding for days and ruining my shirt than it hurting. In the end, it did not hurt that much. In fact, getting a tattoo was much more painful. (Don't get a tattoo).